from now on my penis is your penis
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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