My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
