Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
