My cat gives me a boner
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
