2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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