bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
