You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
