absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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