Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
