Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
