I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
