so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
