I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
