i think i have herpe
just one?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She told me I should be a condom model.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
