She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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