he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize