I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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