So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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