I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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