Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
