Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
