her vagine was all disorganized.
Small penises have feelings too.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
