Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
