i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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