The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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