I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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