Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
