Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
