i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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