I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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