so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
