just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
