You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize