I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
