two words: eviction party
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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