If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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