I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
