I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My ass is underappreciated
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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