and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
