I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
