While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
