We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
