I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
