remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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