you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
