We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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