Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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