He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
