dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
