508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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