Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
