so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
