i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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