Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
