He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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