But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am spending my child support on dildos
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
