Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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