you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
