he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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