yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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