I CAN MOONWALK!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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