you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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